My husband and I met 16 years ago today. We have had some amazing times and we have had some tragic times. We have experienced happiness, joy and excitement as well as experienced sadness, pain and tears. We have loved each other so deeply and we have hated each other so passionately. We have grown and expanded as well as put walls up and manned the tower. We have had nights of pleasure and passion and we have had nights of loneliness and despair. We have felt the euphoric feelings of love and we have felt the dark feelings of anger. We have seen each others light and we have seen each others darkness. Through this all we have learned a few things. Here they are!
- There will be great times and there will be painful times. They are both beautiful and both will allow you to open your heart and soul more to one another. Don’t close down in the painful times. Don’t run and hide. Don’t feel ashamed. Face these feelings and shine light on what we perceive to be dark. Once we light the darkness up we no longer feel the need to hide parts of ourselves and we become comfortable in allowing our spouse to love us for all that we are.
- Push and pull in the bedroom. This is a completely natural cycle. We are not going to be on fire when it comes to the bedroom every single night just as we are not going to be out of business. There is a cycle to sex and we get to become comfortable expressing this part of ourselves. There may be nights where we are feeling passionate and sexy and there will be nights where we just want to roll over without being touched and go to sleep. Both of these are fine. Sex is energy and our energy is always shifting. We get to allow ourselves some room to find our groove with this cycle and become understanding of ours needs, wants and desires as well as understanding that our spouse is going through the same cycle.
- We must find things that we are passionate about. Boredom and the lack of passion is the root of discomfort when it comes to marriage. You must awaken to your own personal passions and embrace them. When we are feeling satisfied with who we are as a person then it becomes easier to openly share ourselves with our spouse. When we are protecting, guarding and manning our tower then we will feel the lack of passion for all things in life. We will feel okay but we will not feel passionate. When we shut down our ability to be passionate then we shut down a key part of who we are. I know that it can be scary to be passionate about something because …what if we are judged or not received openly by others? Passion can put you in the line of fire. Passion can also awaken who you are at your deepest core levels. Find something to be passionate about and then find a way to share that passion. You will expand and your marriage will flourish
- The power of perception. What we focus on expands. If we focus on all the things that bother us about our spouse, kids and life then we will get more of that. If we focus on what we love about our spouse, kids and life then we will get more of that. Our perception has the power to transform our life without must changing. We must see the beauty of our life. We must be grateful and happy. We deserve to wake up every morning with thoughts of love, prayer and gratitude. How we see the world is up to us. How we show up in our marriage is a choice we get to create everyday. Perception is a powerful tool that we get to use focus on the wonderful things. The more we focus on passion, pleasure, prosperity and peace the more we will get!
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Marriage is what we create it to be. Decide today to construct your marriage with all the beautiful things it deserves.
